Remember

• I can trust Him. I can trust Him. Not just with the more abstract things like my salvation, but with the every day worries and cares and fears. He is more than capable of being Lord and Provider of every aspect of my life. There is a reason why He tells us not to be afraid over and over again in the Bible - because fear can easily turn into unbelief in His goodness, in His nearness, and in His providence. He’s got this, a million times over. 
• His promises are true. Every single one of them. As I feed on them, He feeds my hope. And He will produce fearlessness and boldness in a heart that was originally timid and weak and crippled by the fear of man. 
• Obey Him. Even when my heart feels rotten and pouty and insincere. I cannot say that I love Him and then turn around and not obey Him. My emotions do not legitimize my disobedience, and oftentimes it is obedience to Him that increases my faith and changes this heart. He is worthy.
• I can and must forgive others because He in His perfect and spotless holiness has forgiven this rebellious, prideful, self-serving, and bitter soul long before it ever wanted or desired Him. He forgave and welcomed me when I was His enemy. How can I harbor bitterness towards any of my brothers and sisters in the face of the debt that was forgiven me? Soften this angry and resentful heart, O Lord. Make it like Yours.
• My work (applying for jobs, studying for the NCLEX) is not this secular thing that I have to dip into every now and then before I retreat back into the spiritual (devotions, church, prayer). There is no such divide. He is as glorified in the way that I approach my work as He is in my worship or prayer to Him. This means that I can study and apply out of His strength, His guidance, and don’t have to feel guilty about spending time and energy on it. 
• Every family is broken and needs redemption. And He is willing and able to do it. There is no picture-perfect family that does not need to cling to Jesus desperately every day. 
• I can’t operate out of my pridefulness when I see sin and apathy around me, feeling justified in it like I have in the past. He has shown me that I have been that Pharisee who prays to God and thanks Him that He is not like that other sinful tax-collector. Forgive me, Lord. I must humble myself under His mighty hand, cry out to the Lord to turn our hearts back to Him, love compassionately and faithfully, always operating out of hope that He can and will redeem. 
• He bids me come and die. To deny myself, pick up my cross, and follow Him. I have often wondered why so many Christians do not have this intimacy with Christ like those in the Bible seemed to have, or like my mentor Skip McDonald. When I asked Skip why so many people didn’t have that closeness to Him that I saw in her, she said, “That’s easy. It comes with a price tag that not many people are willing to pay. That is, your life! But it is worth it. SO worth it.” I want more of you, Jesus. My understanding of You is just a fraction of a shadow of Your glory. Let these eyes see!

“The most insidious, divisive, and wounding power is the power used in the service of God. The number of people who “have been wounded by religion” overwhelms me. An unfriendly or judgmental word by a minister or priest, a critical remark in church about a certain lifestyle, a refusal to welcome people at the table, an absence during an illness or death, and countless other hurts often remain longer in people’s memories than other more world-like rejections. Thousands of separated and divorced men and women, numerous gay and lesbian people, and all of the homeless people who felt unwelcome in the houses of worship of their brothers and sisters in the human family have turned away from God because they experienced the use of power when they expected an expression of love.”

-Henri Nouwen, Finding My Way Home

My heart has been so burdened lately by how often people have turned away from Christianity because they have either been let down or outright disgusted by what they have seen certain “Christian” people do. To those of you who have been burned by the church, I ask for your forgiveness. So much that has been done in the name of God does not at all resemble the heart of God. 

I have had a lot of friends who have recently told me that they are pretty much done with their faith in God. Either He doesn’t feel real, or they don’t feel like they fit the description of the church-goer that they are used to, or it just leaked and they feel distant and cold towards Him. Some say that they are too fun-loving and can’t see how they could live a flavorless, straight-jacket kind of life. 

That just baffles me.

An intimate relationship with the Almighty God who does not just take thought of you, but delights in you and wants to commune with you, the God that frees us from the futile chase of gaining more power, more approval from man, more success in order to feel fulfilled - only to have it disappoint us once again. The God who calls you to live a life that is crazy and fearless and life-giving and foolish in the world’s eyes. This is the God that we serve and love and follow. Not some boring, fun-sucking, soul-condemning, hand-slapping kind of god that so many people have made Him out to be. What a shame! 

I am convinced that anyone who has ever left the faith has not seen the true Jesus. He is beautiful and the only thing in this life worth living for. He is patient and kind and tender and loving and near. So many of us never get to that point of intimacy because we are not willing to give the cost - our life, our will, and our sin. But oh! He is infinitely worth it and so much more valuable than the silly lives that we try to preserve. 

He is not far from any of us. I pray that the church returns to the heart of Jesus, especially when it comes to gays and lesbians. Not compromising the truth, but acting like the Truth and loving tenderly, patiently, and boldly as Jesus would. 

Help us, God. 

“Only be thou strong and very courageous.”
Joshua 1:7

Our God’s tender love for his servants makes him concerned for the state of their inward feelings. He desires them to be of good courage. Some esteem it a small thing for a believer to be vexed with doubts and fears, but God thinks not so. From this text it is plain that our Master would not have us entangled with fears. He would have us without carefulness, without doubt, without cowardice. Our Master does not think so lightly of our unbelief as we do. When we are desponding we are subject to a grievous malady, not to be trifled with, but to be carried at once to the beloved Physician. Our Lord loveth not to see our countenance sad. It was a law of Ahasuerus that no one should come into the king’s court dressed in mourning: this is not the law of the King of kings, for we may come mourning as we are; but still he would have us put off the spirit of heaviness, and put on the garment of praise, for there is much reason to rejoice. The Christian man ought to be of a courageous spirit, in order that he may glorify the Lord by enduring trials in an heroic manner. If he be fearful and fainthearted, it will dishonour his God. Besides, what a bad example it is. This disease of doubtfulness and discouragement is an epidemic which soon spreads amongst the Lord’s flock. One downcast believer makes twenty souls sad. Moreover, unless your courage is kept up, Satan will be too much for you. Let your spirit be joyful in God your Saviour, the joy of the Lord shall be your strength, and no fiend of hell shall make headway against you; but cowardice throws down the banner. Moreover, labour is light to a man of cheerful spirit; and success waits upon cheerfulness. The man who toils, rejoicing in his God, believing with all his heart, has success guaranteed. He who sows in hope shall reap in joy; therefore, dear reader, “be thou strong, and very courageous.”

“Acquaint now thyself with him.”
Job 22:21

If we would rightly “acquaint ourselves with God, and be at peace,” we must know him as he has revealed himself, not only in the unity of his essence and subsistence, but also in the plurality of his persons. God said, “Let us make man in our own image”—let not man be content until he knows something of the “us” from whom his being was derived. Endeavour to know the Father; bury your head in his bosom in deep repentance, and confess that you are not worthy to be called his son; receive the kiss of his love; let the ring which is the token of his eternal faithfulness be on your finger; sit at his table and let your heart make merry in his grace. Then press forward and seek to know much of the Son of God who is the brightness of his Father’s glory, and yet in unspeakable condescension of grace became man for our sakes; know him in the singular complexity of his nature: eternal God, and yet suffering, finite man; follow him as he walks the waters with the tread of deity, and as he sits upon the well in the weariness of humanity. Be not satisfied unless you know much of Jesus Christ as your Friend, your Brother, your Husband, your all. Forget not the Holy Spirit; endeavour to obtain a clear view of his nature and character, his attributes, and his works. Behold that Spirit of the Lord, who first of all moved upon chaos, and brought forth order; who now visits the chaos of your soul, and creates the order of holiness. Behold him as the Lord and giver of spiritual life, the Illuminator, the Instructor, the Comforter, and the Sanctifier. Behold him as, like holy unction, he descends upon the head of Jesus, and then afterwards rests upon you who are as the skirts of his garments. Such an intelligent, scriptural, and experimental belief in the Trinity in Unity is yours if you truly know God; and such knowledge brings peace indeed.

-C. Spurgey

“Thou art my hope in the day of evil.”
Jeremiah 17:17

The path of the Christian is not always bright with sunshine; he has his seasons of darkness and of storm. True, it is written in God’s Word, “Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace;” and it is a great truth, that religion is calculated to give a man happiness below as well as bliss above; but experience tells us that if the course of the just be “As the shining light that shineth more and more unto the perfect day,” yet sometimes that light is eclipsed. At certain periods clouds cover the believer’s sun, and he walks in darkness and sees no light. There are many who have rejoiced in the presence of God for a season; they have basked in the sunshine in the earlier stages of their Christian career; they have walked along the “green pastures” by the side of the “still waters,” but suddenly they find the glorious sky is clouded; instead of the Land of Goshen they have to tread the sandy desert; in the place of sweet waters, they find troubled streams, bitter to their taste, and they say, “Surely, if I were a child of God, this would not happen.” Oh! say not so, thou who art walking in darkness. The best of God’s saints must drink the wormwood; the dearest of his children must bear the cross. No Christian has enjoyed perpetual prosperity; no believer can always keep his harp from the willows. Perhaps the Lord allotted you at first a smooth and unclouded path, because you were weak and timid. He tempered the wind to the shorn lamb, but now that you are stronger in the spiritual life, you must enter upon the riper and rougher experience of God’s full-grown children. We need winds and tempests to exercise our faith, to tear off the rotten bough of self-dependence, and to root us more firmly in Christ. The day of evil reveals to us the value of our glorious hope.

-You know who

I have been dragging my feet to come before Jesus lately. Sometimes it feels so much easier to just curl up in bed and whimper, or to freak out and take care of all my tasks first before coming to Him. Today, these words kept popping into my head:

“Wait on the Lord.” 

You want me to wait on you, God? This is the girl that, in her impatience, microwaved raw chicken for 5 minutes Friday night and spent Sunday paying for it. This is the girl that has a minor breakdown whenever something does not go the way that she wanted it to. This is the girl who finds it difficult to genuinely rejoice with friends when they get a job because it stings a little more to know that she has nothing lined up as of now. This is the girl that has started to resort to reading a few verses on the shuttle before class for a quick morning meal. 

O God! How I need You. My heart is so hardened right now. Make it tender! Make it long for You. Draw me to your rivers of living water and let me drink deeply. I know that You alone satisfy, but I also don’t really know. Help me to trust that You really do love me, that You really do know my path, that You really will provide good things to Your daughter. I’ve got nothing. I can’t do it on my own. I’ve tried to hard to prove otherwise, but have come up short. There is no good in me apart from You. Your Holy Spirit is already inside of me, but make me aware of Him. Help me to know Your presence. Let me know Your comfort. 

I feel Satan chucking all sorts of ammunition at me, and it comes in the form of lies, accusations, and despair.

You’re never going to get a job. You are not good enough. You should have gotten that externship and worked as a tech. You are being naive by trying to go to LA without a job in hand. God doesn’t really care about you. He’s turned His face from you. Maybe if you were a little closer to Him right now, He’d help you. But you’re not, so He’s going to teach you a lesson. You better get yourself together.

O Lord, show me the truth. Show me Your way. Remind me of Your goodness, Your grace, and Your mercy. Remind me that You really are that unbelievably good. 

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. -Psalm 46:1-3

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. -1 Peter 4:12-13

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. -1 Peter 5:10

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. -Psalm 55:22

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. -John 14:18

And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. -Matthew 28:20

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” -John 6:35

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. -Matt 11:28

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. -Isaiah 40:29

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. -Hebrews 10:23

So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by our spoken word or by our letter. Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word. -2 Thessalonians 2:15-17

Say to those who are of a fearful heart, “Be strong, do not fear! Here is your God.” -Isaiah 35:4

For not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one. And we have confidence in the Lord about you, that you are doing and will do the things that we command. May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. -2 Thessalonians 3:2-5

“God, even our own God.”
Psalm 67:6

It is strange how little use we make of the spiritual blessings which God gives us, but it is stranger still how little use we make of God himself. Though he is “our own God,” we apply ourselves but little to him, and ask but little of him. How seldom do we ask counsel at the hands of the Lord! How often do we go about our business, without seeking his guidance! In our troubles how constantly do we strive to bear our burdens ourselves, instead of casting them upon the Lord, that he may sustain us! This is not because we may not, for the Lord seems to say, “I am thine, soul, come and make use of me as thou wilt; thou mayst freely come to my store, and the oftener the more welcome.” It is our own fault if we make not free with the riches of our God. Then, since thou hast such a friend, and he invites thee, draw from him daily. Never want whilst thou hast a God to go to; never fear or faint whilst thou hast God to help thee; go to thy treasure and take whatever thou needest—there is all that thou canst want. Learn the divine skill of making God all things to thee. He can supply thee with all, or, better still, he can be to thee instead of all. Let me urge thee, then, to make use of thy God. Make use of him in prayer. Go to him often, because he is thy God. O, wilt thou fail to use so great a privilege? Fly to him, tell him all thy wants. Use him constantly by faith at all times. If some dark providence has beclouded thee, use thy God as a “sun;” if some strong enemy has beset thee, find in Jehovah a “shield,” for he is a sun and shield to his people. If thou hast lost thy way in the mazes of life, use him as a “guide,” for he will direct thee. Whatever thou art, and wherever thou art, remember God is just what thou wantest, and just where thou wantest, and that he can do all thou wantest.

-Charlie (we’re close like that now)

Many have found the secret of which I speak and, without giving much thought to what is going on within them, constantly practice this habit of inwardly gazing upon God. They know that something inside their hearts sees God. Even when they are compelled to withdraw their conscious attention in order to engage in earthly affairs there is within them a secret communion always going on. Let their attention but be released for a moment from necessary business and it flies at once to God again…

I do not want to leave the impression that the ordinary means of grace have no value. They most assuredly have. Private prayer should be practiced by every Christian. Long periods of Bible meditation will purify our gaze and direct it; church attendance will enlarge our outlook and increase our love for others. Service and work and activity; all are good and should be engaged in by every Christian. But at the bottom of all these things, giving meaning to them, will be the inward habit of beholding God. A new set of eyes will develop within us enabling us to be looking at God while our outward eyes are seeing the scenes of this passing world.

-A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God